Types of Love

Love is considered to be a positive and negative: with its virtue representing human kindness, compassion, and affection, as “the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”; and its vice representing human moral flaw, akin to vanity, selfishness, amour-propre, and egotism, as it potentially leads people into a type of mania, obsessiveness or codependency.

Roget’s Thesaurus (1998) p. 592 and p. 639

Definition:

To like or desire actively: take pleasure in

Triangular Theory of Love:

Liking (Intimacy)

Quote:

“Playfulness in a relationship is like the fizz of the champagne”

Questions:

4. Why do we have our first crush at such an early age of life?

9. Why don’t we have a choice in who we fall in love with?

18. Why do we have to be in love with someone to have sex with them, according to American societal standards?

Songs:

Natalie Cole – Too Young

Taylor Swift – Mary’s Song (Oh My My My)

$uicideboy$A Girl Named Drool And A Pack of Kools

Cuco – Summertime Hightime

Kali UchisMelting

​ilyTOMMY – ​ Princess Bubblegum

Definition:

The object of attachment, devotion, or admiration

Triangular Theory of Love:

Infatuation (Passion)

Similar to:

  1. Saudade
    • a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one cares for and/or loves

Questions:

1.Why are we obsessed with love?

3.Why do we crave it?

5.Why are we constantly looking for love outside of ourselves? Why isn’t familial, self or even Divine love enough?

19. Why can’t we distinguish our feelings of love from lust?

20. Why is it possible to love a person emotionally but not sexually and vice versa, why can we have mind-blowing sex with someone and not be able to connect with them on any other level?

26. How do we know when it is time to cut people we love out of our lives?

Songs:

Frankie J – Obsession

Skizzy Mars – Girl on a Train

Phora – I Think I Love You

Pretty Girl NB Ridaz

Definitions:

  1. Affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
  2. An assurance of affection
  3. Warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion

Triangular Theory of Love:

Fatuous Love (Passion + Commitment)

Quote:

“Love is an activity, not simply a feeling” -Erich Fromm

Questions:

7. What’s the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?

8. Why is it so hard to find “the one”?

10. Is it possible to love more than one person at one time?

yes for ludus; no for pragma

16. Why do we get married when we love someone?

29. Why is love such hard work?

Songs:

LeAnn Rimes – Commitment

Shania Twain – You’re Still The One

Sara Bareilles – I Choose You

Definitions:

A person’s adoration of God; unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another such as:

  1. The fatherly [motherly] concern of God for humankind
  2. Brotherly [sisterly] concern for others

Triangular Theory of Love:

Consummate Love (Intimacy + Passion + Commitment)

Similar to:

  1. Bhakti
    • “attachment, participation, fondness for, homage, faith, love, devotion, worship, purity”.[1]
  2. Prem
    •  Love in Hinduism is sacrament. It preaches that one gives up selfishness in love, not expecting anything in return.
  3. Ren (Confucianism)
    • Altruism
    • If the ruler lacks ren, it will be difficult for his subjects to behave humanely.
  4. Chesed
    •  the word is used of kindness or love between people, of the devotional piety of people towards God as well as of love or mercy of God towards humanity

Questions:

21. Can boys and girls be platonic friends?

24. What does it mean to love unconditionally?

Songs:

Courtney Jaye- Love Song For Everyone

Bob Marley – One Love

Michael Jackson – We Are the World

Definition:

Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties

Triangular Theory of Love:

Empty Love (Commitment)

Similar to:

  1. Ahava
    • interpersonal love of family and love of God

Questions:

14. Do we have the same loved ones (i.e. family members, friends, significant others, pets) over several lifetimes? (Yuanfen)

17. Why do we care about who falls in love with who?

25. Why should we love our family unconditionally?

Song:

Taylor Swift – The Best Day/ Never Grow Up / Soon You’ll Get Better

Paul Simon – Father And Daughter

John Mayer – Daughters

Sister Sledge – We Are Family 

Definitions:

  1. Attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers
  2. An amorous episode
  3. The sexual embrace

Triangular Theory of Love:

Romantic Love (Passion + Intimacy)

Similar to:

  1. Kama
    • Dharma (virtuous, proper, moral life), Artha (material prosperity, income security, means of life) and Moksha (liberation, release, self-actualization).[6][7] Together, these four aims of life are called Puruṣārtha.[8]

Questions:

2. American society has this idea that if you don’t have a significant other, then you aren’t full, but why?

12. Do soulmates have to be romantic connections?

15. Why do we seek romantic love above all the other types of love?

27. Why does love hurt so much?

28. Why do we still try to find love even after we’ve been hurt? even after we know that we could get hurt again?

Songs:

Ariana Grande – 34 + 35

Usher – Climax

John Legend – All of Me 

Definition:

To hold dear: cherish

Triangular Theory of Love:

Companionate Love (Intimacy + Commitment)

Quote:

“A best friend is someone who loves you when you forget to love yourself”

Questions:

21. Can boys and girls be platonic friends?

11. Can you have more than one soulmate?

13. What is the difference between soulmates and twin flames? Is it possible to have both in one life time?

14. Do we have the same loved ones (i.e. family members, friends, significant others, pets) over several lifetimes?

Songs:

Ellie Goulding – Army

Randy Newman – You’ve Got a Friend in Me

Camila Cabello – Real Friends 

Definition:

To thrive in

Triangular Theory of Love:

Consummate Love (Intimacy + Passion + Commitment)

Similar to:

  1. Free Love
    • The movement’s initial goal was to separate the state from sexual matters such as marriage, birth control, and adultery
    • Free love viewed sexual freedom as a clear, direct expression of an individual’s self-ownership.
  2. Amour-Propre vs. Amour de Soi
    • “Pascal detested self-love, self-esteem, ego, vanity as well perhaps, which are interchangeable terms for him, because it puts the self in the place of God. He suggested it was unfair that we are born with the desire to be loved by others, but unavoidable due to the consequence of the Fall, or original sin. Christianity was the only true remedy to this wretched state of man known as amour-propre.”[3]
  3. Mettā
    • “May you be happy” or “May you be free from suffering”
    • At first the practitioner is targeting “oneself, then loved ones, neutral ones, difficult ones and finally all beings, with variations across traditions”.[9]

Questions:

6.Why is it so hard to find self-love?

Songs:

Demi Lovato – I Love Me

Hailee Steinfeld – Love Myself

Christina Aguilera – Beautiful 

Lizzo – Good As Hell

Charlie XCX – Body Of My Own

Unanswered questions:

22. Why are there different types of love?

23. Why are there different ways of showing love?

30. Why do we need love?

References:

Definitions

Questions

Images of Types of Love

Triangular Theory of Love

The Color Wheel of Love

Check these out for more!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: